S just went to a friend’s housewarming party… That got me
reflecting on our housewarming party… it was June and it was hot. How we had
shifted to said house is a another story… My room looked like a battle field
where cartons, two years worth of newspapers, dust lions, banana peels, things that rolled to unknown corners and I considered
teleported and such like had met and bitten each other to death… K. was there,
she knows… She had one afternoon to help me salvage what was worth salvaging,
move it down two floors and get it to our new home…Oh, and the moving people
never showed up… K. and I had to do what I can only term lithe gymnastics to
fit ourselves on a rickshaw with a table that used to fold when I got it but
developed stiff joints due to age, neglect and such… K. and S. moved everything
into the new place, that’s right, I just stood there amazed and lauded their
sheer strength. Actually for the most part of most things, I just stand and
laud…
That was a fun night. We moved in, K. stayed the night… And
although we were very very tired (K. and S. ‘cause they had to lug like a 100
pounds down two flights of stairs and then up another, me ‘cause I was
lauding), we went out for Chinese food.
So then, the housewarming… I don’t remember how it began… I
remember I was tired having cooked pasta (for someone used to lauding, that’s
strenuous work). Then K. came, helped me cook (more lauding) and we had some
cheese. Then R. and B. came… B. used to be our friend; there are stories about
him but they would have to come later. And B. brought with him 6 chilled
bottles of beer. I remember B. opening the beers and I remember S. opening the
rum and the gin… After this, my recollections are dim. S. says I was drunk by
the time the rest started on their seconds. Like real work, I also have a very
low threshold for withstanding rum…
See, the thing with me is, rum gets to me real quick but I
also sober up real fast. Now, the opposite happens to B. and that is what forms
the premise at this point. He is no novice when it comes to beer-drinking and
was quite steady on his feet after about 3 litres. Then he took it upon himself
to mix something he called the white devil-one part soda, green chillies soaked
in gin, mint leaves and then just fill your glass with gin, don’t be shy… Oh
and some ice-cubes… These too he had about 4 of. Then began what I can describe
as one of the longest half hours in our lives.
B. first went to the bathroom… It has been a year and I still
don’t want to know what he did in there. The upshot was that after he was gone,
we found the toilet rolls in the tank, the top of the tank under the sink and a
poor little towel hook in the shape of a pineapple is still missing… After wrecking
our bathroom so he barreled into the kitchen, knocked over a jar full of cumin
and licked my spatula… That’s right, he picked up the spatula from the pasta
pan and licked it. You would think I would take that as testimony to my cooking
prowess, but to this day that party is referred to as the day B. licked the
spatula and threw it behind our little kitchenette.
Oh, and he proposed to my fiancé. We finally convinced him
to leave and as S. was seeing him to the door, B. took his hand and planted a
big soppy kiss on it. Then he informed S. of his undying love for him and left.
And then called 5 minutes later to re-affirm his love. So, in summation, he
licked my spatula and basically my fiancé, messed up our sparkly clean bathroom
and everyone’s moods.
After he left, we cleaned up the bathroom and swept up the
cumin and peace returned. K. and R. stayed the night with us. Actually, it
turned out to be quite fun after all. K. and I peeled and sliced potatoes; then we
made some French fries and had them with chocolate shots at 2.00 AM. K had
promised to stay up all night, but she fell asleep sometime after 3.00. That
was fun too, ‘cause then we took pictures of her nose from all kinda angles. I
still have those…
While doing the chocolate shots, we toasted to having more such
nights together, to studying together, to finding jobs together, to having houses nearby
where our babies and dogs can play together… To growing old together…Lots of
shots, very drunk!!!
Some of those things happened, others didn’t and still
others might yet happen…
